Seriously? Seriously...

Anyone who is a fan of Saturday Night Live knows that Seth and Amy do a segment called "Really?!?" where they observe some of the stupid things that people do and ask "Really? You just did that? Really!?!" So I decided that I have had a few experiences in the past few weeks that prompted me to put my own spin on the whole Really? experience only I like to use the word "Seriously"...so here goes-keep in mind that these are real things that have happened to me recently:
1. While standing in line at the grocery store, we were talking and there was an older gentleman in a suit behind us on a cell phone. We were just chatting like normal and then he shooshed us! Seriously? I am sorry that you can't hear while you talk on that phone that has no cord. While standing on those legs that are not broken. Seriously.
2. I was waiting in line at the Registrar's office on campus and an older lady behind me was clearly staring at me. I smiled at her, so she starts to reach for my hair and says, "Is your hair real?" Seriously? I can only assume that she was wondering if my mane of big hair is naturally curly or a perm, but there are better ways to ask this. And if I don't know you, please don't touch my hair. If you want to scare a curly-haired girl-threaten to comb your fingers through her hair. They will get stuck. Seriously.
3. We were at a dinner with some friends and a couple of other acquaintances that I didn't know very well and someone had brought a delicious-looking salad that had raspberries and avocadoes in it. I am highly allergic to all things avocado, so I didn't take any salad. No big deal, just didn't take any. So, everyone starts to rave about the salad, and the salad-maker looks at my salad-less plate and asks if I want some. I politely say that I will pass, and she inquires as to why. My roommate says that it is because I am allergic and the salad maker procedes to make the moment awkward by asking, "Well, how much do you have to eat before you have a bad reaction?" Seriously? Is there a good reaction when you are allergic to something? Seriously. As a personal rule, I try not to see how much my body can take of something before my throat just closes up and my eyes swell shut (Think Hitch). Seriously.
4. My Bishop,trying to be ever so helpful, just informed me a while ago that the reason that I am not married is because I am too busy. Seriously? Is that really the reason? I don't even know what that really means, but I am pretty sure that there are probably other reasons and that Mr. Right is not sitting around thinking,"Wow, she's fantastic and I would totally date her if she was only just sitting at home doing nothing." Seriously.
I think that some of the funniest things happen when people don't really think about what they are saying. Don't worry, I have more. Seriously.