Sunday, June 3, 2012

The Power of No

Recently I had the chance to catch up with some dear friends and we had a great time discussing the goings on of each other's lives. When the topic of our singleness came up, the three of us told stories and compared notes as to what people say to us when they think that they are being helpful. I was reminded of an incident when I was on a committee to plan a big event and we were giving out assignments. I stated that I would like to do a particular job because it fit the best into my schedule and was met with the response, "Well what do you have to do with your time? You are single..."

Single Girl Says:
Seriously? What do I have to do with my time? Just because I am single does not mean that I have endless amounts of time to do things. Nor does it mean that I am just waiting for things to fill up my time. I actually keep myself quite busy. I do realize that raising kids and having a household to run versus working full time+ and taking care of myself are two totally different kinds of busy. But the fact is, when people say things like that to us single gals, it makes it seem like nothing that we do is valid because we are single. I have been busy enough lately that I have decided that I need to say "no" sometimes so that I can have time to do everything that I need to get done. I have decided that I can say "no" and still feel good about myself. I have had a mini-epiphany that I need to know my limits a little better so that I don't do everything half way. I need to keep a schedule that is right for me, not anyone else. No matter what people think of my schedule, it is just that, my schedule. I have discovered the Power of No-which is not to say that I will be selfish Anne from now on. It means that I will be able to do the things that I need and want to get done and I will be able to do them with style.
And I would never say to anyone, "Well what do you have to do with your time?" It's just rude.