Singleton Living

In a recent article in our local newspaper, the lead read like this, "Where have you gone, Carrie Bradshaw? A nation of TV single ladies turns its poor, lonely eyes to you." The article then goes on to talk about the epidemic that is single women. Epidemic? Seriously? Doesn't the word epidemic usually get paired with things like the bird flu? And since when did being single mean that you are automatically poor and lonely? Granted, I do not speak for all single ladies, but I definitely do not view myself or my single friends as poor and lonely. According to this article, Carrie Bradshaw, from the show, "Sex in the City" is the standard to which I, as a single lady should be measuring myself to. Seriously?
While I chose not to be offended by this article, it did get me to thinking that I may need to do some PR for all of the single ladies out there. The experiences that I have had and continue to have as I travel this life by myself have helped me to realize that there are definitely some misconceptions about this epidemic of singleness. So, over the course of the next few blogs, I will share some instances-and there are many-where my singleness has been a topic of discussion to good friends and strangers alike. I will call it Single Girl Says mostly because I am Single Girl and I am saying it. My hope is that it might help all of us navigate this road together, whether single or attached.
First, though, a disclaimer: Although my sarcastic-ness may come out a lot during the sharing of these instances, I have chosen not to be offended by anything that has been said to me and in most cases I cannot even remember who said them. Most of the time I am just flattered that people still wonder why I am not married. I know that I need to worry when the wondering stops. And I am not bitter. Remember-sarcastic does not equal bitterness. Also, I do not speak for all Single Girls. There may be some that are bitter. Those are the ones that we don't wonder so much about why they are not dating anyone....

So here goes, in no particular order:

SO ARE YOU DATING ANYONE?
When the answer to this is, "No", the reaction is always what I refer to as Diagnosis Face. You know the face-where people automatically feel bad for you and react like you have just told them that you have a tragic disease. Then there is an awkward pause where you know that they are trying to think of something, anything, that will take away my pain and make this moment better for me.

-Single Girl Says: Do not feel bad for me strictly for being single. I do not need your pity. I do not need you to give me your condolences. I do, however, need you to be my fan. And to set me up with that guy you would date if you were not married already...


DON'T WORRY, IT WILL HAPPEN SOMEDAY
This is the response that most often goes along with Diagnosis Face.

-Single Girl Says: Don't worry? IT will happen someday? Seriously-I know that you are trying to comfort me in my time of singleness, but there are way better things that can be said at this time.

-Best answer ever to this question: One time I was asked this by a ward member who was a long time Anne Fan (yes, this is a real thing). His reaction was to put his arm around me and say, "Well, I don't know what is wrong with the guys out there!" Seriously. Best. Answer. Ever.

DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED?
I have been asked this. Multiple times. Usually by someone who doesn't know me very well. The only thing that might be a worse way to ask this question, "Doesn't anyone actually want to marry you?" Seriously.

-Single Girl Says: Of course I WANT to get married. To the right person. And just because it hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean that it won't happen someday. But asking this question is a little mean. It makes us singles feel like the only reason we are single is because we just don't want to be in a relationship badly enough. So, if you are the person that is asking this question, please know that the answer to this is always, Yes-I want to get married. Now please stop asking. Unless you are someone who actually wants to marry me. If that is the case, ask away.

To be Continued....