Singleton Living

In a recent article in our local newspaper, the lead read like this, "Where have you gone, Carrie Bradshaw? A nation of TV single ladies turns its poor, lonely eyes to you." The article then goes on to talk about the epidemic that is single women. Epidemic? Seriously? Doesn't the word epidemic usually get paired with things like the bird flu? And since when did being single mean that you are automatically poor and lonely? Granted, I do not speak for all single ladies, but I definitely do not view myself or my single friends as poor and lonely. According to this article, Carrie Bradshaw, from the show, "Sex in the City" is the standard to which I, as a single lady should be measuring myself to. Seriously?
While I chose not to be offended by this article, it did get me to thinking that I may need to do some PR for all of the single ladies out there. The experiences that I have had and continue to have as I travel this life by myself have helped me to realize that there are definitely some misconceptions about this epidemic of singleness. So, over the course of the next few blogs, I will share some instances-and there are many-where my singleness has been a topic of discussion to good friends and strangers alike. I will call it Single Girl Says mostly because I am Single Girl and I am saying it. My hope is that it might help all of us navigate this road together, whether single or attached.
First, though, a disclaimer: Although my sarcastic-ness may come out a lot during the sharing of these instances, I have chosen not to be offended by anything that has been said to me and in most cases I cannot even remember who said them. Most of the time I am just flattered that people still wonder why I am not married. I know that I need to worry when the wondering stops. And I am not bitter. Remember-sarcastic does not equal bitterness. Also, I do not speak for all Single Girls. There may be some that are bitter. Those are the ones that we don't wonder so much about why they are not dating anyone....

So here goes, in no particular order:

SO ARE YOU DATING ANYONE?
When the answer to this is, "No", the reaction is always what I refer to as Diagnosis Face. You know the face-where people automatically feel bad for you and react like you have just told them that you have a tragic disease. Then there is an awkward pause where you know that they are trying to think of something, anything, that will take away my pain and make this moment better for me.

-Single Girl Says: Do not feel bad for me strictly for being single. I do not need your pity. I do not need you to give me your condolences. I do, however, need you to be my fan. And to set me up with that guy you would date if you were not married already...


DON'T WORRY, IT WILL HAPPEN SOMEDAY
This is the response that most often goes along with Diagnosis Face.

-Single Girl Says: Don't worry? IT will happen someday? Seriously-I know that you are trying to comfort me in my time of singleness, but there are way better things that can be said at this time.

-Best answer ever to this question: One time I was asked this by a ward member who was a long time Anne Fan (yes, this is a real thing). His reaction was to put his arm around me and say, "Well, I don't know what is wrong with the guys out there!" Seriously. Best. Answer. Ever.

DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED?
I have been asked this. Multiple times. Usually by someone who doesn't know me very well. The only thing that might be a worse way to ask this question, "Doesn't anyone actually want to marry you?" Seriously.

-Single Girl Says: Of course I WANT to get married. To the right person. And just because it hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean that it won't happen someday. But asking this question is a little mean. It makes us singles feel like the only reason we are single is because we just don't want to be in a relationship badly enough. So, if you are the person that is asking this question, please know that the answer to this is always, Yes-I want to get married. Now please stop asking. Unless you are someone who actually wants to marry me. If that is the case, ask away.

To be Continued....

Sarcasm does not = Bitterness

A few years ago in a writing class I was taking in college, we were told that to be a successful writer, we must find our voice. What does this mean exactly? Basically, we have to find that voice/attitude/style that will identify our writing as ours. Some people are really flowery and descriptive and you get lost in their many sentences about their surroundings. Some people are experts on just one subject and very passionate at that. So, what is my voice? At the time I was taking the class, I liked to think that I was a quippy, hip, girl-about-town that could easily entertain with my writing. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be able to come up with something great-only to find out that it was just okay. Really. On one of my writing assignments, the Professor wrote that I needed to be, "Less average". I cried more than average tears about that one, but when I talked to him about what he meant, he made me feel more than average and let me know that average was not a bad word, just something that he didn't think that I was. He explained that in most of my writing he had found a style that he enjoyed. He actually looked forward to reading what I had to say because my take on things was unique. Awesome. No pressure or anything. These words have stuck in my head as a turning point in my writing and how I view it. I have appreciated this experience many times throughout the years.
Lately, though, I have been feeling like I have lost my voice. What is it that I want to say? I have been using writing as an outlet for a long time. I don't really care if anyone reads it, but I just picture the words floating from my brain, down my arms, and on to the computer screen. It really is very cathartic. As I look back on my blogs of late I find that I haven't been conveying my thoughts onto computer screen very well. Not that I don't have anything to say, I just haven't been able to pinpoint how I would like to say it. So, I asked myself what my voice is now and I have listened to the thoughts going through my head when I don't have to be thinking about anything at all. Alas, I have found that ever-elusive voice again and it sounds a lot like sarcasm. Sarcasm? Seriously? Yes. I find that I am a little bit sarcastic in my views-not so much the negative sarcasm that will make people feel bad, but sarcasm in a way of looking to find the positive things in situations. And sarcasm does not equal bitterness. Not at all.
Confused? I will attempt to explain in the next few posts if you promise to do one thing: do not think that I am bitter. Seriously. I think that sarcasm can be funny and quite helpful sometimes without being insulting. You will see. Bitter Barlow is not a way that I will be described. Seriously.

My Mom is a Superhero. Seriously.

(Caution: Do not read any further if you get queasy from looking at X-Rays. I think that they are fascinating, but some people pass out. Seriously.)

December 23rd, 2011: It started like any other typical Friday night with the family gathered to eat dinner together. Then, my Mom decided to go to the garage to get some Christmas towels to decorate a basket with so that our dinner would be pretty. A few minutes later, however, the decision to get some Christmas towels would change the fate of the Barlow family Christmas festivities. Mom had fallen and she couldn't get up. Seriously. As soon as the boys saw her on the garage floor and noticed that there was something wrong with the direction that her right leg was pointing they knew that a firetruck and ambulance would be coming to Foxswallow Circle. A few minutes later the firetruck arrived followed closely by the ambulance. Luckily, the Grandbabies were fascinated by the light show going on out front so they were not too affected by all the action. Soon, Mom was scooped up by the paramedics and loaded into the ambulance to make the 4 minute trip to the hospital (Seriously! We timed it-4 minutes to the hospital if you hit the lights just right!). Dad was with her and we decided to eat whilst waiting for news. We also decided that the Christmas towels would be staying in the garage.
Dad kept us updated as to the goings on in the ER and let us know when it was time to come. We all knew that it was serious and said many little prayers to ourselves that it would not be a broken hip. Well, our prayers were answered-she did not break her hip...She decided to pretend that she is a football player and snap her femur in half. Yikes. Laura and I got to the ER with some food and clothes for Dad and were greeted by a Tammy Faye Baker look-alike behind the desk who would only let one of us back to see Mom, so I sent Laura in first. She and Dad came out to get me when a wonderful Dr. came in to give Mom the nerve block so that her pain would be alleviated somewhat. I am pretty sure she would have kissed him had the opportunity arisen. Lets be honest-we all would have kissed Dr. Happy if the opportunity had arisen. When we all got to see her she was in good spirits-instructing me and Laura with where to find the Christmas presents-so we went home and wrapped like crazy until all of the presents were wrapped-about 3am. It felt more like 4am though. Seriously.
December 24th, 2011: Awaiting surgery. Apparently hospitals are not known for their promptness, so we stayed with Mom off and on throughout the day until her scheduled 1:00 surgery took place at 6:00. Yep, it was just a broken femur-no need to hurry. So, while Mom was in surgery we went home and ate and unwrapped presents and tried to rescue some shred of holiday spirit. Luckily Sammie and Spencer kept us entertained. None of us could bring ourselves to use any of the Christmas towels, though. Weird. We ended up having a pretty decent time whilst knowing that Mom was out of pain for a little bit and her bone was being put back together. Around 10pm the surgeon called with a great report and we were able to go to the hospital to see our newly reconstructed Superhero. We all slept a little better that night knowing that the scary part was over. Sort of.
December 25th, 2011: Superhero was up and walking around as soon as the nurses and physical therapists could talk her into it. We decided to visit for a while and have a nice dinner with everyone at home so that she could sleep. Well, sleep as well as you can when you are in a hospital. The next few days were a whirlwind of hospital visits, getting the house ready and recovering from our adventure. On Tuesday afternoon, our Superhero came home! Seriously! Oh yeah, and for an extra special Christmas present she got this:

Some new bionic hardware in her leg! She is a very lucky Superhero! They don't give those things to just anyone. Seriously.
So, for the next few months we will all be concentrating on getting this leg better and making sure that our very own Superhero can walk better than ever before. Luckily, as we have learned from this experience, we are the type of family that circles the wagons when someone is in need. Seriously. The way that this has pulled us closer together has been amazing to me. We have been completely blessed by those around us who have come to our rescue when we needed them the most. Luckily, our Superhero is loved by many.
So, for now we will all pull together so that our Superhero can concentrate on recovery and the dreaded physical therapy. As for me, I am learning to be happy with the small daily victories that inch us ever so slowly closer to our finish line of completely recovered. I am even slowly but surely getting over my hatred of Christmas towels. Seriously! One day at a time...

Just how waterproof is this mascara?

I wish that they would print on the side of the tubes of mascara exactly how waterproof it really is. Like on the washable waterproof they could just say something like, "Waterproof to last 2-5 minutes of eye watering" or on the waterproof they could say, "Will last through a good allergy attack, but only one". I have been pondering this question lately because I feel like I have had a lot of days where I have had to reapply the supposed indestructable waterproofs.
Let me explain. The week before Thanksgiving, a family friend that we have known since we met upon my entering kindergarten passed away suddenly from a heart attack. It was sad to think that my dear friends have been suffering from the loss of their father. He was a part of a lot of my childhood memories as that Dad who watched over all of us always asking, "How you doin' kid?" and putting his arm around me every time he saw me. It made my heart hurt and the tears have stayed very close to the surface.
Then, in the wee small hours of the morning about two weeks later, a 27-year-old healthy male went to sleep and did not wake up. He left behind a pregnant wife and 16-month-old daughter. He was from one of those families that you grow up with in your ward and your families are intertwined for years. The kind that when you see each other, there are firm embraces all around and the catching up of everyone's lives. So, needless to say, we are sad in this house. My heart has been hurting and the tears that have been so close to the surface have spilled many times over. My heart is broken for the pain that this family is having to go through. There were over 800 people at his funeral and seeing his sweet wife walk into the chapel where her husband's casket was being wheeled in will be an image that will never be erased from my mind. I now can say that I truly know the meaning of the word devastated because I saw it on her face.
It is at times like these that we all stop to take stock in our own lives. We say to ourselves,"What do I have to complain about when people I care about are recovering from devastating events in their lives?" Luckily, I have a faith that is so rooted in who I am that I do not ask the question, "Why?" I have instead been feeling like I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and that I have been lucky enough to witness the little miracles that are going on around me. I have slowed down a little bit and just enjoyed the little moments rather than worrying about the stuff that is not so important. And I have cried. A lot.
Luckily, with my Lash Blast by my side I know that I can get through this and that each day my heart will hurt a little less. I will always be greatful to my little bright orange tube of waterproof greatness for that.

Salty AND Sweet

Okay, Okay, so I am not so good at this whole every day thing, but I have spent the week thinking of things that I am thankful for. From the big-that I have a great job and work with great people-to the small-my favorite junk food. You know that we all have our favorite goodies that we reach for in times of movie watching and in stress. For me, my go to junk food always has one key ingredient: CHOCOLATE. For a while, it was chocolate covered cinnamon bears, but alas they do not sell them in California! So, after finishing off my birthday stash of the cinnamon heaven, I have decided to switch to another bite-size goodie:If you have not tried these perfect blend of salty and sweet you are definitely missing out! I thought that the person at M&M headquarters had struck gold when they made the peanut butter version and I thought that they would never top this flavor, but I was wrong. Pretzel wrapped in chocolate with a hard candy shell. Brilliant. SO, there you have it. This week I am thankful for Pretzel M&Ms. Seriously. A party in your mouth...

Go Away Scary Witch!

I heart Halloween! I love everything about it-dressing up, candy, decorating, pumpkins and candy:) We had a giant Stake Carnival that we all got dressed up for and got to participate in the Trunk-r-Treat for even more candy than we came with!
Here is a pic of all of us in our costumes: Me, Sammie the Butterfly, Spencer the Caterpillar, Ryan as Batman and Jen as Robin.
At the end of the night as we were packing up, Sammie yelled, "Go away scary Witch!" and laughed her head off. But it got me thinking, I have dressed up the way I have been feeling inside: Witchy. I have been feeling negative lately and I do not like it at all. I am not naturally negative, but the thoughts in my mind have been...well, witchy. So, I decided to get back to doing the things that make me happy and not just accentuate, but celebrate the positive. I am taking a page from my sister Laura's book about blogging the things that I am grateful for. I am going to do the "Twelve Days of Thanksgiving" and get back into blogging, being positive and talking about the things that make me thankful for the life that I have.
So, in tradition of the last holiday we had, the first thing that I am thankful for: HALLOWEEN!
What else can be better than a holiday that lets you dress up and eat candy? Also, it kicks off my favorite time of year being the holidays. For the next couple of months we get to enjoy family parties, baking, giving presents and lots of other things that make the holidays what they are. So tune in tomorrow for the next thing that I am thankful for...

I'm Still Here...

This is not going to be my customary catch-everyone-up-on-the-daily-goings-on-in-my-life type of blog nor is it going to be a rant on something that makes me ask, "Seriously?" (although I have a few of those in my brain right now)...this is just a precurser to the catch up seriously? moments of my life to tell you that yes, I am still here. Yes, I love all of you and want to share my life. Yes, I am working and loving it and longing for the days when someone really rich dies and leaves me all their money to do whatever I want with. But mostly yes, I am still here. I will update soon. Seriously. But if you wonder who I am spending my time with these days that keeps me away from blogging, here you go:
My Favorite Girl:
And My Favorite Boy:Being an Auntie is the greatest!
To be continued...