Resolutions Shmesolutions

As a follow up to my resolution from 2 years ago-wait...was it 3?!?-to start keeping up on my blog more, I have just updated my blog and changed a bunch of stuff if you want to take a look. It is not that I do not think of things to write. I do. Constantly. I am actually usually thinking that I should have a camera follow me around at all times because things are happening to me that are much more interesting than most of the reality TV that is out there. Although it does not happen as beautifully lit or after my make-up has been perfected. Usually I find that the most interesting things happen when I am not paying attention to the minor details like a shower. Or bothering to match my clothes. In fact, most of the time I feel like I get dressed like a 5-year-old and wear whatever is closest and mostly fits. Anyways, I am a goal-oriented person and I feel like I have been awesome at setting goals and accomplishing what I want in certain areas of my life, like my career or my relationships with my family, for example but have neglected a lot of areas of my life that would help me to be more BALANCED. And, although I am not a firm believer that guilt is a productive feeling, I feel guilty about this most of the time. We are always the hardest on ourselves and this is definitely true with me. I find that I hold myself to a much higher standard than anyone else would dream of doing and then I beat myself up about it. If anyone else were to say the things to me that I say to myself, I would most definitely punch them in the face. But, enough about that.
What I really want to put out there into the blogosphere so that I can keep myself in check is that I am setting some serious goals for myself and this is going to be my year. I actually have my year start on my birthday of August 19th and end on the next August 19th and have started out with some pretty awesome experiences so far that I may share at a later date. But for now, I am going to start with my goal #1:
BE MORE OPEN
Open to new experiences, open to people, open to learning, open to expanding my horizons, open to listening, open to serving, basically just open. Where better to start than by blogging? I have always loved it. Blogging has been cathartic for me at times and sharing the hilarity that is my life sometimes has brought me joy. So I am doing it. Blogging again.
My Inspiration: When we were in Relief Society last week, one of the sisters asked a question about what we would do if there is someone among us who lets us know that they are not feeling welcome or loved. There were many answers and experiences shared as to what we should do to help others, but the question crossed my mind, "Who here HASN'T had a time where they were not feeling welcome or loved?" In having a discussion with some friends a few days later, I related the experience and the fact that I could not get that question off my mind. I just could not help but think that if we all remembered that everyone, no matter how strong and resilient they seem on the outside, EVERYONE has felt this way at one time or another. Everyone knows what it feels like to be in a room full of people and feel truly alone. It is only when we are open that we have the opportunity to share those things with others that we realize that we are all in the same boat. We can gain strength from each other. I find that with myself I keep a lot bottled inside and figure that I can take care of myself and handle everything on my own. Only by being more open in my life will I be able to grow and have opportunities that never would have presented themselves if I am not.
So there it is. Out in the open. I am going to be more open. I am going to be more open. I am going to be more open. Who knows where this will lead me, but all I know is that I am open to finding out...
Until next time.

But I Want It NOW!!

In one of my most favorite movies from my youth, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Veruca Salt sings a song that clearly states a list of the things that she would like her father to buy her. At the end of the song, she yells very loudly the words, "But I want it NOW!!"
Patience has never been one of my strong characteristics and when I find myself in the middle of working hard for something I want, my inner-Veruca comes out. I have my list of things that I would like-not necessarily for my Father to buy me-and I want them NOW.
It is while I am in the midst of wanting things NOW that I am reminded that good things come to those who wait. I hear that patience is a virtue. The best things in life aren't free. Slow and steady wins the race. Blah Blah Blah.
Well, I have a bone to pick with patience. It is hard and I don't like it. I know that greatness is in store, but I would like it to be in store by tomorrow. Not even by tomorrow, by tonight. It's like I have an angel on one shoulder that is telling me to be patient and that everything will work out and a devil on the other shoulder poking me in the ear with a sharp stick telling me that I need what I want to happen NOW. Right now the sharp stick in my ear is winning.
Don't get me wrong, I am not bitter and I do truly believe that there is greatness in store. I am just not in the patience fan club right now and I am not sure when it is that I will be. Definitely not NOW. For now, I am just trying to get back to basics and have more things in my life that make me happy. Like chocolate. And friends. And balance. And less of me to love (I have lost 30lbs and counting, but that is a topic for another time). And writing-I have missed writing.
So what is the point to this post? The point is that I am back. I am back to the writing world after having a break for a whole year. Patience is kicking my butt right now, but I am not going to let it win. I am going to put my head down and go to work and get things moving in a positive direction again. And I am going to do it NOW.
Patience better watch out....

Swim Suit Shopping

There comes a point in every single person's life where you are faced with the dreaded choice: I need to expand my circle of dating options, so which online site do I choose?

I compare online dating to swim suit shopping. When you know that you need to get a new swim suit, you put it off for as long as you can. You try to get the courage up to go to the store and try on several different styles to see what fits best. You try on the suits, or as I call them, Body Flaw Spotlights, and feel your confidence waning. With each new suit that you try on, you hope that it will fit and even tug and pull to see if it will work. You give it everything you've got. Then, when it doesn't work, you start to feel like it is your fault-maybe I shouldn't have eaten those doughnuts for breakfast, you think. You know that other women have found suits that they are happy with, but for some reason you have not found yours. You know that if you just keep trying and have a good attitude, you will find the right fit. You try all sorts of styles, being successful at finding a suit that fits on top but not on bottom, or vice versa. Your friends and family give you words of encouragement and even share stories of all of their friends who have found the perfect suit. You know that they are right and even tell yourself the same stories, but your courage and resolve start to fail you. Although you are tempted to stay home in your yoga pants and watch a movie, you keep going back to the store time and time again, every trip with renewed hope that this will be it.

Single Girl Says: This is exactly what online dating is like. It has a very high success rate and I truly believe that it is a great tool. Years ago, online dating was very taboo. But not anymore. We shop for everything online: Houses, Cars, Shoes, Colleges-so why not a mate? So, you put yourself out there, at the same time that someone else is putting themselves out there, and maybe something that you post for all the world to see will spark the interest of a potential mate. Don't put too much pressure on yourself or anyone else to be perfect. Just be you. You may not find the perfect match, but you can have fun dating until you do. It will, however, be rough at times. You will find that your confidence in the whole process gets shaken, easily. But do not lose hope. The only way that you will be able to find the right suit is to try on a bunch of different styles and sizes to see what fits best.

The Power of No

Recently I had the chance to catch up with some dear friends and we had a great time discussing the goings on of each other's lives. When the topic of our singleness came up, the three of us told stories and compared notes as to what people say to us when they think that they are being helpful. I was reminded of an incident when I was on a committee to plan a big event and we were giving out assignments. I stated that I would like to do a particular job because it fit the best into my schedule and was met with the response, "Well what do you have to do with your time? You are single..."

Single Girl Says:
Seriously? What do I have to do with my time? Just because I am single does not mean that I have endless amounts of time to do things. Nor does it mean that I am just waiting for things to fill up my time. I actually keep myself quite busy. I do realize that raising kids and having a household to run versus working full time+ and taking care of myself are two totally different kinds of busy. But the fact is, when people say things like that to us single gals, it makes it seem like nothing that we do is valid because we are single. I have been busy enough lately that I have decided that I need to say "no" sometimes so that I can have time to do everything that I need to get done. I have decided that I can say "no" and still feel good about myself. I have had a mini-epiphany that I need to know my limits a little better so that I don't do everything half way. I need to keep a schedule that is right for me, not anyone else. No matter what people think of my schedule, it is just that, my schedule. I have discovered the Power of No-which is not to say that I will be selfish Anne from now on. It means that I will be able to do the things that I need and want to get done and I will be able to do them with style.
And I would never say to anyone, "Well what do you have to do with your time?" It's just rude.

My Best Friend's Wedding

Recently, my Sis Laura's BFF got married. It was a beautiful day and it was fun to celebrate the occasion. Of course, when such an occasion comes along, there is always the dreaded catching of the bouquet (which somehow always coincides with a bathroom break for me-wierd)and other such wedding festivities that serve to remind one of their single-ness. All of these are easy to deal with because most of the time there are other singles to enjoy the occasion with. There is usually fun dancing, food and other festivities that keep the focus on the happiness of the occasion. The not-so-easy to deal with are the questions about the singleness that come from those who think they are better friends with you than they actually are. The worst one of these: "So, when is it your turn?"

Single Girl Says:When is it my turn? Sarcastic me wants to say something like, "Well, we all drew numbers and mine is just a couple behind the brides, so it should be soon!" or "I don't know-I am hoping that my turn didn't come up when I wasn't paying attention!" But, alas, I do not succomb to the sarcasticness. I usually just smile politely and find something shiny to distract them with.
This day is usually a tough one for single gals-especially if the bride is a close friend. And it is not, I repeat NOT because we are jealous of the nuptials. In fact, I usually could not be happier that my BFF is marrying the love of their lives. It just reminds me one more time that I am not the one who is getting married. I am not even close. I get over this toughness pretty quick when I realize how happy I am for my friends. Well, that and eating cake. Cake is always helpful.

Note to the recently married people: Please be patient with us single gals. If you can sense a little bit of sadness in our eyes when we are dancing around with joy at your announcement then just remember to reassure us that you will still be our friends. I realize that the relationship will be changing, but for the first little bit it feels like you are breaking up with me. I will get over that feeling I promise. Especially if by you getting engaged, it means that I have gained a new entry into the Anne Fan Club.

Happy for your Happiness

"So, how do you feel that your baby sister got married before you?" WHAT SINGLE GIRL HEARS: "So, since you are single, can you actually be happy about it when someone younger that you gets married before you? If I were you, I would kill myself." SINGLE GIRL SAYS: First of all, even though I am single-I can actually be happy for other people's happiness. Shocking, I know. My baby sister got married before me and I am just fine with that. More then just fine, really happy actually. I gained another brother and the more the merrier! It never even occurred to me to mind. Seriously. I am not sure what the person who asked me that question was actually hoping to hear, but I responded by saying, "I am so happy for her! We love Ryan and are so happy to have him in our family!!" But, I will be honest-I kind of wanted to kick her in the shins.

Single Girl Says

(Continued from Singleton Living-see below) The last Singles Ward that I lived in had a fabulous Bishop who was very eager to get everyone married. Bravo. I totally agree with this philosophy in a Singles Ward. Seriously. In fact, the motto of every Singles Ward should be, "Meet. Mingle. Marry." I am totally okay discussing the status of my singleness with anyone who would like to know. However, there are correct ways of doing this and not-so-correct ways of doing this. Not-so-correct: LET'S TALK ABOUT WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE The only other statement that would elicit such a stunned response from me might be, "Let's talk about why you are so fat." Seriously. Now, I am not sure where the conversation was expected to go from here, but what exactly am I supposed to say to this? When I regained my composure enough to respond, I said, "I am not sure why I am not married yet. People who are not as smart as me get married. People who are way more overweight that I am get married. People who are uglier that I am get married. I am at a loss." Then I said. "You better be careful who you have this conversation with because some girls may be pretty upset by this." I am not sure if this is the correct way to handle this situation, but I chose not to be offended and went about my daily life. Come to find out later, this is a question that was asked to all of the single gals in the ward. Some chose to be offended. SINGLE GIRLS SAYS: Don't be offended by some well-meaning people's inquiries as to why you are still single. Most likely they think that they are helping. And maybe it is not a bad question to contemplate to yourself. We single ladies should be putting ourselves out there and living our lives to the fullest-mate or not. But when someone who does not know you very well decides to give you suggestions as to what you can do to not be single anymore, you can politely let them know that you don't appreciate it. If that doesn't work, you can always move. That's what I did. Seriously. ARE YOU SINGLE BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO PICKY? I have been asked this many times. My question is this-what exactly is TOO picky? As a tall girl, I am a little picky about the height of a potential mate. I just don't want to feel like a body guard. But, if a potential mate meant wearing flats for the rest of my life I would be okay with that. Seriously. And I am not too picky. I will go out with anyone who asks at least once. I will give anyone a fighting chance. I even went out with a guy who smelled like tuna twice. I was hoping that he wouldn't smell like tuna the second time we went out, but no such luck. I really did give it a chance until he lost me talking about how life would be much better if we could all live on the Enterprise. It was then that I realized we were not a match made in Star Trek heaven. SINGLE GIRL SAYS: The more that we can keep our eyes and minds open to the opportunities around us the better. We are all worth a fighting chance. The best thing that we can do is make sure that we are not setting the bar too high for what we expect in a mate. If you make a list of the things that you would like to see in a partner, do not put anything on that list that you don't expect out of yourself. Besides, when you keep your eyes wide open you may find someone who is everything you never knew you always wanted. Seriously. To be continued...

Singleton Living

In a recent article in our local newspaper, the lead read like this, "Where have you gone, Carrie Bradshaw? A nation of TV single ladies turns its poor, lonely eyes to you." The article then goes on to talk about the epidemic that is single women. Epidemic? Seriously? Doesn't the word epidemic usually get paired with things like the bird flu? And since when did being single mean that you are automatically poor and lonely? Granted, I do not speak for all single ladies, but I definitely do not view myself or my single friends as poor and lonely. According to this article, Carrie Bradshaw, from the show, "Sex in the City" is the standard to which I, as a single lady should be measuring myself to. Seriously?
While I chose not to be offended by this article, it did get me to thinking that I may need to do some PR for all of the single ladies out there. The experiences that I have had and continue to have as I travel this life by myself have helped me to realize that there are definitely some misconceptions about this epidemic of singleness. So, over the course of the next few blogs, I will share some instances-and there are many-where my singleness has been a topic of discussion to good friends and strangers alike. I will call it Single Girl Says mostly because I am Single Girl and I am saying it. My hope is that it might help all of us navigate this road together, whether single or attached.
First, though, a disclaimer: Although my sarcastic-ness may come out a lot during the sharing of these instances, I have chosen not to be offended by anything that has been said to me and in most cases I cannot even remember who said them. Most of the time I am just flattered that people still wonder why I am not married. I know that I need to worry when the wondering stops. And I am not bitter. Remember-sarcastic does not equal bitterness. Also, I do not speak for all Single Girls. There may be some that are bitter. Those are the ones that we don't wonder so much about why they are not dating anyone....

So here goes, in no particular order:

SO ARE YOU DATING ANYONE?
When the answer to this is, "No", the reaction is always what I refer to as Diagnosis Face. You know the face-where people automatically feel bad for you and react like you have just told them that you have a tragic disease. Then there is an awkward pause where you know that they are trying to think of something, anything, that will take away my pain and make this moment better for me.

-Single Girl Says: Do not feel bad for me strictly for being single. I do not need your pity. I do not need you to give me your condolences. I do, however, need you to be my fan. And to set me up with that guy you would date if you were not married already...


DON'T WORRY, IT WILL HAPPEN SOMEDAY
This is the response that most often goes along with Diagnosis Face.

-Single Girl Says: Don't worry? IT will happen someday? Seriously-I know that you are trying to comfort me in my time of singleness, but there are way better things that can be said at this time.

-Best answer ever to this question: One time I was asked this by a ward member who was a long time Anne Fan (yes, this is a real thing). His reaction was to put his arm around me and say, "Well, I don't know what is wrong with the guys out there!" Seriously. Best. Answer. Ever.

DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED?
I have been asked this. Multiple times. Usually by someone who doesn't know me very well. The only thing that might be a worse way to ask this question, "Doesn't anyone actually want to marry you?" Seriously.

-Single Girl Says: Of course I WANT to get married. To the right person. And just because it hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean that it won't happen someday. But asking this question is a little mean. It makes us singles feel like the only reason we are single is because we just don't want to be in a relationship badly enough. So, if you are the person that is asking this question, please know that the answer to this is always, Yes-I want to get married. Now please stop asking. Unless you are someone who actually wants to marry me. If that is the case, ask away.

To be Continued....

Sarcasm does not = Bitterness

A few years ago in a writing class I was taking in college, we were told that to be a successful writer, we must find our voice. What does this mean exactly? Basically, we have to find that voice/attitude/style that will identify our writing as ours. Some people are really flowery and descriptive and you get lost in their many sentences about their surroundings. Some people are experts on just one subject and very passionate at that. So, what is my voice? At the time I was taking the class, I liked to think that I was a quippy, hip, girl-about-town that could easily entertain with my writing. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be able to come up with something great-only to find out that it was just okay. Really. On one of my writing assignments, the Professor wrote that I needed to be, "Less average". I cried more than average tears about that one, but when I talked to him about what he meant, he made me feel more than average and let me know that average was not a bad word, just something that he didn't think that I was. He explained that in most of my writing he had found a style that he enjoyed. He actually looked forward to reading what I had to say because my take on things was unique. Awesome. No pressure or anything. These words have stuck in my head as a turning point in my writing and how I view it. I have appreciated this experience many times throughout the years.
Lately, though, I have been feeling like I have lost my voice. What is it that I want to say? I have been using writing as an outlet for a long time. I don't really care if anyone reads it, but I just picture the words floating from my brain, down my arms, and on to the computer screen. It really is very cathartic. As I look back on my blogs of late I find that I haven't been conveying my thoughts onto computer screen very well. Not that I don't have anything to say, I just haven't been able to pinpoint how I would like to say it. So, I asked myself what my voice is now and I have listened to the thoughts going through my head when I don't have to be thinking about anything at all. Alas, I have found that ever-elusive voice again and it sounds a lot like sarcasm. Sarcasm? Seriously? Yes. I find that I am a little bit sarcastic in my views-not so much the negative sarcasm that will make people feel bad, but sarcasm in a way of looking to find the positive things in situations. And sarcasm does not equal bitterness. Not at all.
Confused? I will attempt to explain in the next few posts if you promise to do one thing: do not think that I am bitter. Seriously. I think that sarcasm can be funny and quite helpful sometimes without being insulting. You will see. Bitter Barlow is not a way that I will be described. Seriously.

My Mom is a Superhero. Seriously.

(Caution: Do not read any further if you get queasy from looking at X-Rays. I think that they are fascinating, but some people pass out. Seriously.)

December 23rd, 2011: It started like any other typical Friday night with the family gathered to eat dinner together. Then, my Mom decided to go to the garage to get some Christmas towels to decorate a basket with so that our dinner would be pretty. A few minutes later, however, the decision to get some Christmas towels would change the fate of the Barlow family Christmas festivities. Mom had fallen and she couldn't get up. Seriously. As soon as the boys saw her on the garage floor and noticed that there was something wrong with the direction that her right leg was pointing they knew that a firetruck and ambulance would be coming to Foxswallow Circle. A few minutes later the firetruck arrived followed closely by the ambulance. Luckily, the Grandbabies were fascinated by the light show going on out front so they were not too affected by all the action. Soon, Mom was scooped up by the paramedics and loaded into the ambulance to make the 4 minute trip to the hospital (Seriously! We timed it-4 minutes to the hospital if you hit the lights just right!). Dad was with her and we decided to eat whilst waiting for news. We also decided that the Christmas towels would be staying in the garage.
Dad kept us updated as to the goings on in the ER and let us know when it was time to come. We all knew that it was serious and said many little prayers to ourselves that it would not be a broken hip. Well, our prayers were answered-she did not break her hip...She decided to pretend that she is a football player and snap her femur in half. Yikes. Laura and I got to the ER with some food and clothes for Dad and were greeted by a Tammy Faye Baker look-alike behind the desk who would only let one of us back to see Mom, so I sent Laura in first. She and Dad came out to get me when a wonderful Dr. came in to give Mom the nerve block so that her pain would be alleviated somewhat. I am pretty sure she would have kissed him had the opportunity arisen. Lets be honest-we all would have kissed Dr. Happy if the opportunity had arisen. When we all got to see her she was in good spirits-instructing me and Laura with where to find the Christmas presents-so we went home and wrapped like crazy until all of the presents were wrapped-about 3am. It felt more like 4am though. Seriously.
December 24th, 2011: Awaiting surgery. Apparently hospitals are not known for their promptness, so we stayed with Mom off and on throughout the day until her scheduled 1:00 surgery took place at 6:00. Yep, it was just a broken femur-no need to hurry. So, while Mom was in surgery we went home and ate and unwrapped presents and tried to rescue some shred of holiday spirit. Luckily Sammie and Spencer kept us entertained. None of us could bring ourselves to use any of the Christmas towels, though. Weird. We ended up having a pretty decent time whilst knowing that Mom was out of pain for a little bit and her bone was being put back together. Around 10pm the surgeon called with a great report and we were able to go to the hospital to see our newly reconstructed Superhero. We all slept a little better that night knowing that the scary part was over. Sort of.
December 25th, 2011: Superhero was up and walking around as soon as the nurses and physical therapists could talk her into it. We decided to visit for a while and have a nice dinner with everyone at home so that she could sleep. Well, sleep as well as you can when you are in a hospital. The next few days were a whirlwind of hospital visits, getting the house ready and recovering from our adventure. On Tuesday afternoon, our Superhero came home! Seriously! Oh yeah, and for an extra special Christmas present she got this:

Some new bionic hardware in her leg! She is a very lucky Superhero! They don't give those things to just anyone. Seriously.
So, for the next few months we will all be concentrating on getting this leg better and making sure that our very own Superhero can walk better than ever before. Luckily, as we have learned from this experience, we are the type of family that circles the wagons when someone is in need. Seriously. The way that this has pulled us closer together has been amazing to me. We have been completely blessed by those around us who have come to our rescue when we needed them the most. Luckily, our Superhero is loved by many.
So, for now we will all pull together so that our Superhero can concentrate on recovery and the dreaded physical therapy. As for me, I am learning to be happy with the small daily victories that inch us ever so slowly closer to our finish line of completely recovered. I am even slowly but surely getting over my hatred of Christmas towels. Seriously! One day at a time...

Just how waterproof is this mascara?

I wish that they would print on the side of the tubes of mascara exactly how waterproof it really is. Like on the washable waterproof they could just say something like, "Waterproof to last 2-5 minutes of eye watering" or on the waterproof they could say, "Will last through a good allergy attack, but only one". I have been pondering this question lately because I feel like I have had a lot of days where I have had to reapply the supposed indestructable waterproofs.
Let me explain. The week before Thanksgiving, a family friend that we have known since we met upon my entering kindergarten passed away suddenly from a heart attack. It was sad to think that my dear friends have been suffering from the loss of their father. He was a part of a lot of my childhood memories as that Dad who watched over all of us always asking, "How you doin' kid?" and putting his arm around me every time he saw me. It made my heart hurt and the tears have stayed very close to the surface.
Then, in the wee small hours of the morning about two weeks later, a 27-year-old healthy male went to sleep and did not wake up. He left behind a pregnant wife and 16-month-old daughter. He was from one of those families that you grow up with in your ward and your families are intertwined for years. The kind that when you see each other, there are firm embraces all around and the catching up of everyone's lives. So, needless to say, we are sad in this house. My heart has been hurting and the tears that have been so close to the surface have spilled many times over. My heart is broken for the pain that this family is having to go through. There were over 800 people at his funeral and seeing his sweet wife walk into the chapel where her husband's casket was being wheeled in will be an image that will never be erased from my mind. I now can say that I truly know the meaning of the word devastated because I saw it on her face.
It is at times like these that we all stop to take stock in our own lives. We say to ourselves,"What do I have to complain about when people I care about are recovering from devastating events in their lives?" Luckily, I have a faith that is so rooted in who I am that I do not ask the question, "Why?" I have instead been feeling like I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and that I have been lucky enough to witness the little miracles that are going on around me. I have slowed down a little bit and just enjoyed the little moments rather than worrying about the stuff that is not so important. And I have cried. A lot.
Luckily, with my Lash Blast by my side I know that I can get through this and that each day my heart will hurt a little less. I will always be greatful to my little bright orange tube of waterproof greatness for that.

Salty AND Sweet

Okay, Okay, so I am not so good at this whole every day thing, but I have spent the week thinking of things that I am thankful for. From the big-that I have a great job and work with great people-to the small-my favorite junk food. You know that we all have our favorite goodies that we reach for in times of movie watching and in stress. For me, my go to junk food always has one key ingredient: CHOCOLATE. For a while, it was chocolate covered cinnamon bears, but alas they do not sell them in California! So, after finishing off my birthday stash of the cinnamon heaven, I have decided to switch to another bite-size goodie:If you have not tried these perfect blend of salty and sweet you are definitely missing out! I thought that the person at M&M headquarters had struck gold when they made the peanut butter version and I thought that they would never top this flavor, but I was wrong. Pretzel wrapped in chocolate with a hard candy shell. Brilliant. SO, there you have it. This week I am thankful for Pretzel M&Ms. Seriously. A party in your mouth...

Go Away Scary Witch!

I heart Halloween! I love everything about it-dressing up, candy, decorating, pumpkins and candy:) We had a giant Stake Carnival that we all got dressed up for and got to participate in the Trunk-r-Treat for even more candy than we came with!
Here is a pic of all of us in our costumes: Me, Sammie the Butterfly, Spencer the Caterpillar, Ryan as Batman and Jen as Robin.
At the end of the night as we were packing up, Sammie yelled, "Go away scary Witch!" and laughed her head off. But it got me thinking, I have dressed up the way I have been feeling inside: Witchy. I have been feeling negative lately and I do not like it at all. I am not naturally negative, but the thoughts in my mind have been...well, witchy. So, I decided to get back to doing the things that make me happy and not just accentuate, but celebrate the positive. I am taking a page from my sister Laura's book about blogging the things that I am grateful for. I am going to do the "Twelve Days of Thanksgiving" and get back into blogging, being positive and talking about the things that make me thankful for the life that I have.
So, in tradition of the last holiday we had, the first thing that I am thankful for: HALLOWEEN!
What else can be better than a holiday that lets you dress up and eat candy? Also, it kicks off my favorite time of year being the holidays. For the next couple of months we get to enjoy family parties, baking, giving presents and lots of other things that make the holidays what they are. So tune in tomorrow for the next thing that I am thankful for...

I'm Still Here...

This is not going to be my customary catch-everyone-up-on-the-daily-goings-on-in-my-life type of blog nor is it going to be a rant on something that makes me ask, "Seriously?" (although I have a few of those in my brain right now)...this is just a precurser to the catch up seriously? moments of my life to tell you that yes, I am still here. Yes, I love all of you and want to share my life. Yes, I am working and loving it and longing for the days when someone really rich dies and leaves me all their money to do whatever I want with. But mostly yes, I am still here. I will update soon. Seriously. But if you wonder who I am spending my time with these days that keeps me away from blogging, here you go:
My Favorite Girl:
And My Favorite Boy:Being an Auntie is the greatest!
To be continued...

Pick Me! Pick Me!

Job hunting is like going to PE every day knowing that there are going to be 2 captains (neither of which will be you, of course) that will divide the class into 2 teams. You wait and wait while all the rest of the class is being picked, just hoping upon hope that you won't have the embarrassment of being the last choice. Oh, little things will happen where there is a glimpse of not being left to the last, but alas when the cards fall, there you are, sitting by yourself. And you just have to go back the next day to do the same thing, knowing that the outcome will probably not change-no matter what you do. You will doubt yourself and your skills and your talents and wonder if showing up every day is actually worth it. You will even start to panic every once in a while wondering if you will ever get picked. This can go on for months...
But-just when it seems like there is no reason to hope and you consider selling one of your kidneys on the black market for some cash...the call comes. "We have seen your resume and we would like to meet with you" may be some of the most beautiful words in the English language. Then the terror sets in. I have to go and talk to someone and convince them to hire me! What?? I have to wear the perfect outfit and say the perfect thing and sell my skills as being something that no one else can bring to the table. Yikes!! So you show up and pray for a miracle. They seem to like you. They even smile while you talk about your philosophy of customer service and how you can be a big benefit to their company. Then, when you leave, they say that they will be in touch, but you have serious doubts that this will actually happen. You pray for a miracle. You even joke that it will be okay if they don't pick you. But secretly you would be devastated and start to look for ways to sell that kidney of yours so you can put gas in your car and your phone won't get shut off. Then it comes. The phone call that makes the world seem like it has started to go in slow motion. So you brace yourself. And then you hear the second most beautiful words in the english language: "We would like to offer you the position. When can you start?" And the clouds open up and the sun shines down just on you and there are actual birds chirping and you are pretty sure that you can hear a distant choir singing Hallelujah. The hunt is over. You have met your goal. For the first time since you can remember, the knot that has taken residence in your stomach has departed and you can breathe again. Not only were you not picked last, you have been selected as a captain! The happy dancing in the street can begin!
So, as you may have guessed-I GOT A JOB!! I will now be working at a law firm as the Front Office Coordinator and I could not be happier!! It is everything that I wanted and needed and really am excited. And I can breathe again and concentrate on the more important things in life. Like my renewed goal of one new pair of shoes a month...Hallelujah.

Christmas 2010

Hope that you all had a great, happy, fun, adventurous, restful, blessed and inspiring Christmas! We had a blast around here which always includes taking lots of pictures:

We had a relaxing Christmas with lots of family time and good food and fun! We also decided to start a Barlow Family blog so check us all out at the Barlow Family blog link to the right:)
Now, on to the New Year's festivities!

In Honor of Veteran's Day

Dear Mr. President:

On this day where we honor those who serve in the Armed Forces and those Veterans of wars past, I reflect on the state of our union. Not so long ago, you were sworn in and promised to make America a better place. Since then, America has come upon perilous times. There is an attitude that the United States should pull troops out from countries in the Middle East that have made no secret out of the fact that they hate all things American and will have no problem trying to bring this great country to it's knees. Our soldiers are protecting their country, OUR country, in wars both foreign and domestic. We should be proud to be Americans and vow to defend her no matter the cost. Now it seems that our Commander in Chief does little to instill confidence that the citizens of this country are the first priority. Don't worry about it, you said, and don't question me, I know what I am doing. You even tweeted about it.

Now, in 2010, America is on the brink of losing it's standing as a powerful nation. You have even stated in the press that now it is time to get to work. Well, Mr. President, the time to get to work was long ago. Stop going on talk shows, making speeches to defend your non-actions and get to work. We cannot afford to waste any more time. You need to insure that the citizens of this country are protected from any and all threats.

We need to remember that America is the home of the free BECAUSE of our brave. We need to reflect every day that we are grateful for our troops and all that they have done for us. We support our soldiers and we are thankful for our freedom that we have because of their sacrifices. As the Commander in Chief of the most powerful military in the world, you need to support our troops and let them finish what they started. They are making a difference. Be the kind of Commander in Chief that those "faceless cowards" are afraid to attack because they know that they will be hunted down and stopped. Stop apologizing for America and get to work.

Lastly, Mr. President, it is time that you listen to the people of this country and remember that you work for us.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen

1 Year in Cali: What I Know Now

It just occurred to me that last year at this time I was packing up the Jeep and making the long trek to California. So, what have I learned about myself since I packed up my life and made a, well, life-changing move? Here is just a bit of the wisdom I have accrued about the wonder that is AnneBarlow:

1-I love to read. Turns out there are way more interesting things to read than text books. I have a well-used library card and have decided that I like to read mysteries the most. I always think that I am smarter than the average reader when I can figure out who did it.

2-I have really enjoyed not working full time. Do not take this the wrong way. It is not that I do not want to work full time and have a job and a career and all the benefits that come with that. I am not lazy at all. I actually get a little anxious that I have not been able to find a job yet because I think that I have a lot to offer as an employee, but apparently the right thing has not come along yet. I just have to keep doing my part and look hard and take advantage of all the opportunities that are around me. Until I get that job, though, I have been able to spend the last year doing random part time things which have allowed me the time to do things like service and learning new skills.

3-I am a very blessed girl. I have had the opportunity to live rent free which has allowed me to not worry so much about money for the first time in my adult life. I realize that this is a huge blessing. I kind of feel guilty that I have been rent free so I try to contribute in other ways as much as I can.

4-I love love love being in a family ward. I have 2 callings-Activities Committee Chair and Primary Teacher. I get to teach the 8-year-olds and I absolutely love them. I look forward to going to church every week because I get to be with them. And learn from them. I also love all of the people in the ward. There is such a diverse population that makes up the dynamics and I thoroughly enjoy the differences we all bring to the table. It is fun to try and plan activities to meet the needs of everyone.

5-I love whipped cream. It just makes me happy every time I eat it and I take the opportunity to eat it on everything I can. Within reason that is. I would probably eat it more if I wasn't so worried about there becoming too much of me to love. If only a serving of whipped cream would count as a serving of vegetables...

I have learned a lot more than this, but right now I am watching the Giants play stellar baseball in Game 1 of the World Series and loving it so I will have to add more later:)

Bike vs Car...Seriously?

As I was driving the other day in a 45 MPH zone, I noticed that the lane I was in was slowing at a quicker than normal rate as approaching the upcoming intersection that had a green light. I was in the middle lane of a 3-lane road and I figured that someone was having car troubles or something, so I waited for an opening and switched lanes to go around the offending obstacle. Much to my surprise, the reason that we were all moving out of the lane that was going slower than normal was because there was a...wait for it...a biker.

SERIOUSLY?!?

Yep, a biker. In the middle of the lane. In the middle of the road. On a really busy street. From the looks of his very spandex laden outfit and matching helmet he was an experienced biker. Maybe I missed something-car vs. bike. The car always wins, right? This is not the first time, nor I'm sure, will it be the last time that traffic has been hindered by one of these bikers that considers themselves entitled to be riding in the middle of the road. And it drives (pardon the pun) me crazy!! I cannot stand that I have to get out of the way of some biker who is in the middle of the road hindering traffic. I am not sure what the bikers ediquette is on this subject, but I don't really care. There may be laws that say that bikers can ride on the road and I am the only person who does not know that it is okay for a biker to ride 20 MPH in a 45 MPH zone obstructing traffic. I don't care. I am a normally pretty even-keeled person who doesn't get irritated very easily, but here in Pleasanton it seems that the bikers can and do rule the road and it bugs me. I am sure that they should get extra points for doing their part to reduce their carbon footprint on the environment or blah blah blah. I don't care.
My gripe today is this: I do not drive the Jeep in the bike lane, so please do not ride your bike in the Jeep lane. Seriously.

I'm Baaaaaack...

...to the blogging world that is. I realize that it has been a while, but I haven't been feeling inspired as of late. I have had plenty going on, no worries, but I just haven't been feeling like sharing it with the world. I haven't really been on facebook, either, so maybe we can just say that I have been on sabbatical from all things social networking. Here is a picture of the new addition to our family that accounts for some of the busy-ness and lots of visits from our family who live in exotic places as far away as...Salt Lake:Meet Spencer John Barlow born on August 24, 2010. He decided to make things a little more interesting and arrived by C-Section without telling us that was how he wanted to come out. Surprise and everyone is healthy! While he was making friends in the hospital waiting to come home, I got to spend the week with my most favorite girl on the planet: We did lots of things together and had a great time and I am pretty sure that if I could bottle up the energy in that little body and sell it I would be a gazillionaire! Seriously, sometimes she just runs in circles or jumps in place because she has so much energy. I think that I will go to the gym before I see her again because then I might have a prayer of keeping up. And, someone commented that they might be forgetting what I look like because we haven't seen each other for so long, so here I am at the beach last month:

I love it there!

So, I will definitely be reporting on my goals that I wanted to reach before my birthday-most of which are going very well-and I have a few ideas in my head for some other things that I wanna write about. Number 1: Consideration. I feel like there is a lack of consideration for others in this world. Like, do the people pedaling their bikes down a busy street really need the whole lane and to block traffic? What about using the signal when you want to turn your vehicle? You get it-there is definitely more to come on this. Number 2: I have been conducting a great no-make-up experiment for the sake of myself and my skin and have some interesting stuff to report-my question to you is, do you feel confident enough in your appearance to just stop wearing make-up? How about for a month? Think about it...I'll get back to you:)